Now it’s time of big changes for me. It wasn’t planned but I waited for it. Listen.
I’ve moved about two weeks ago. And…
After months or years of saving money, tracking spendings, trying to be eco, zero waste and low impact I’m making an experiment: I’m allowing myself to look for my comfort. With my husband, we’ve decided to not save for a month. We buy what we want in a moment, we don’t limit ourselves. After a month we’ll sum up our expenses and make conclusions and plan for the next months. Will we keep saving as in the past or will the spendings caused by our wants, needs, and comfort be quite low in the whole picture?
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At the same time, I loosen boundaries I’ve set for myself. I follow my comfort, giving up thinking so much about environmental issues or money. This doesn’t mean I stop to be minimalist and conscious. There are habits in areas of things, environmental consciousness and money management that are already a part of me, matching my life, not causing discomfort. And they will probably stay with me for long years. At this moment I’m putting aside rules that caused too much discomfort or that limited myself.
Moreover, I’m opening my mind, getting conscious, thinking and acting more freely. I’m separating myself step by step from beliefs, habits, ways of thinking, judging people, ideas, situations and the world, and ways of acting that I was raised to believe in.
I’m opening myself for different judgments, viewpoints, beliefs. And this, especially with above described loosing rules in areas of ecology and money, makes me open myself for joy, happiness, enjoying my life.
I also let myself be imperfect. I put into life the lesson I’ve been learning for past months: the golden mean is better than all radical positions. Or: real and happy life happens between extremes, in the land of negotiation and non-ideal.
Now I love the place where I live! The same that I hated a few years ago. Nothing has changed. But me. I love the place where I live. And it didn’t happen artificially. I didn’t take part in any challenge like find 5 things you like in the place you live. No. I. Just. Love. It. I feel pleasure at our apartment and walking in the neighborhood today.
I really focus on what is positive. And it’s not artificial like following any challenge. It just happens. I’m grateful. I see little happy and beautiful moments every day.
I learn the language of women. Hair, nails, makeup. Marie Kondo. Home. Energy. Intuition and feelings not mind, sense and logic. Listening to emotions prior to listening to logical arguments.
And all the changes were very needed for me. I needed them already since a bit of time. I needed to be more open, less radical. I needed to let a few good attitudes, habits, views which suit me and serve my development now better than the old ones. I was waiting for it and it all came to me after moving. Maybe I need the visual sign of a big change? New home, new me. It turned out that for me it’s just truth. Not something artificial that is forced. It’s how my mind or character or personality works. I can now add another element to the manual of me (the first discovery was that I need positive motivation to do better or more and to be motivated). The changes were needed, they waited, I was ready and with the moving, it all clicked.