Is it suitable for me, being not happy in my marriage, to write advice on building a good marriage and having a happy married life? Yes. Because I know what I find missing. So let’s try to figure out a list of rules of a happy married couple.
Happy married life recipe
Have time for your spouse
Being together, you care for your relation. You need time for conversation and silence, for doing things and doing nothing. You need this time spent together to keep being friends. To still know each other. Your spouses strengths and weaknesses.
READ ALSO: SLOW LOVE: IF RELATIONSHIP IS YOUR PRIORITY
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Don’t expect your spouse to be ideal
With such an attitude you’ll never be satisfied with your relationship. He or she will never be how you want.
You’re married, so probably you like much of your loved one’s personality and behaviours. But there will always be things that you don’t like. Don’t try to change them!
Accept. Accept that your spouse can believe that this things that annoy you are correct. Accept that there are no two identical worldviews shared by two different people.
And think: are YOU ideal? No. No one is.
If something in your spouses behaviour is making you really mad, tell them about it. But don’t make them a list of everything that annoys you! If you would try it and change your spouse, you’ll be living with a different person than the one you’ve met and married.
Have your plan for the future
Letting things and days be just like they are… is maybe ok… for zen or mystic types of people, practising mindfulness, acceptance and gratefulness in every moment of their life.
But when living as a couple or family, working, tidying up, doing laundry and spending time with each other, it’s better to have a goal.
For us this goal a big move, which will give us better weather and better moods.
So have a goal and both do everything to achieve it.
Care about yourself
Firstly, you’re a part of this marriage. If you want the marriage to be happy, both parts of it should be happy, healthy and strong.
So develop. Be kind to yourself. Have time for yourself. Have your little pleasures and hobbies. Fulfill your dreams. Be happy.
Help to understand your partner – the starting point to lead a happy married life – book describing 5 languages of love*. This theory helped me understand my and my husband’s needs and signs that we’re sending in communication.
I’m leaving you with a homework. Check, if you can answer the question below. It will tell you much about your relationship.