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The everyday, physical reality of being a mom of little kids is tiredness. The mother’s exhaustion Especially if you choose to take care of your kids by yourself. Especially if you have no extended family living near you to help on weekends. Especially if your husband is working and commuting long hours. Especially if you have little ones that defend themselves from falling asleep. Until 10 p.m. or later. Especially if they don’t walk, eat, go to the toilet, dress up by themselves.
Even if we decide to do less and to care less, there is still so much to do, there are emotions and needs, and ideas of your kids, and the continuous stream of speech of your toddler, and actually no silence, no privacy (which literally hurts introverted moms), no possibility to focus until they go to sleep. But then you’re fed up too.
It’s true. I know something about it. I’ve slept uninterrupted at nights maybe for one month in the last four years! I feel bone-tired. But at the same time, because I’ve been bone-tired for four years and I’m still alive, I feel like an indestructible hero 🙂
But hey, for our sanity we should break the circle of the tiredness from time to time. Here are my two strategies. None of them includes employing a nanny nor traveling to an ashram. They’re doable for every mom at home, with what she already has, without abandoning home duties nor the kids for a longer period of time 😉
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Two strategies to live happier despite mother’s exhaustion
1 | make the I don’t care day. weekly
The I don’t care day is the day when you have to do nothing except for meeting your kids’ basic, physiological needs.
Lower your expectations of how your home should look like, what you and kids should eat, what you should do etc. Or even schedule nothing for the day.
Choosing the minimalist lifestyle you’d have less to clean and tidy up every day. Read this: How Much Does a Minimalist Tidy up and Clean Home?
You can wear your pajamas until you decide you would like to put on your clothes.
Do nothing. Let yourself rest. Sleep. Take naps. Eat something that is fast and easy to prepare.
Don’t change your son’s tee if it’s dirty but not wet. Let the mess be.
Comfort your kids’ emotions, frustrations, and beggings with snacks they like. Take care of your mood.
Don’t look at screens after 6 pm and go to bed early.
The result: A child-like day, a day (almost) without duties and responsibilities is what we need from time to time. To refresh, to reset, to rest, to lower the tension, to play.
2 | make a Mother’s Day. monthly
The official Mothers’ Day, once a year, is like nothing. So don’t count on the public celebration days, organize your own Mother’s Day. Every month. You can celebrate it for example on the day when you were born (for example, on 17th every month).
It is Your Day! And even if your kids stay at home with you, you’ll make it!
Let them watch with you your favorite movie. Let them eat your favorite meals and snacks. Turn on your favorite music or Zumba classes. Dance. Read. Wear your favorite dress. Make this day a party.
Be the queen of the day. Be the ruler. Jump on the place occupied normally by your little ones. Make choices and tell them what you all will do.
Take care of yourself. In the evening, give kids sweets or other normally banned and super exciting things to have a long, calm bath.
The result: You’ll feel again (almost) like you before the kids. But including them on this day. Because no matter how tired they make us, we love them!
book: The Idle Parent by Tom Hodgkinson
article: You Can Do a Lot Less Than You Think. And Nothing Bad Is Going to Happen
article: The List of Things You Don’t Have to Do in 2018
article: The Art of Less Doing by Ari Meisel – Course Review and RESULTS
course: The Art of Less Doing by Ari Meisel