– He’s so young, he shouldn’t be outside without socks.
– Doesn’t he feel too hot with these socks?
– Put a cap on his head! Put a cap!
– The baby will freeze in this place. (In a shop with air-con.)
– Why are you in your trolley Little Little Sweet Boy? I see you’d rather walk!
– Take the child! Why are you letting him walk here?
Full-time parents, don’t you know this type of comments? I’m really bored, fed up or irritated with them (depends on my mood).
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I personally never barge in other’s lives. So their comments are really strange for me. Maybe I should also ask the old lady if the heels are really good for her feet? Or inform her that the tights are made of plastic that is so harmful when it touches the skin? Or when someone tries to touch my child, ask them, if I should touch their partner?
Ok, now it’s time to stop complaining because it’s not the aim of the text.
I want to tell you that if your child is healthy and smiles, then you’re a good parent. And it doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or give them bottle or carrot with pesticides, or banana or baby’s fast food. You can sleep with your child or not, you can stay home for six months or you can go home only to sleep. You can choose wooden toys or noisy plastic ones. You can vacuum five times a day or once in five months. These things don’t matter as long as your child is healthy and happy. Health and smile of your child are the sign that you’re a good parent. Already. F*ck advice and strangers’ comments. Don’t listen to any criticism. You’re a good parent.
So we dealt with strangers. But sometimes the criticism comes from close people. It depends on the situation, but in many, I’ll say: ignore it as well. My husband blames me often when our child hurt himself a bit when he falls. I have to ignore his comments because there is no my guilt. The truth is: if you drive ten kilometers every week you’re less likely to be close to a car accident than if you drive a thousand kilometers every day. And even if you have an accident it can be because of the road condition, because of someone else’s wrong action etc.
So if your child is happy, everything is ok with you as a parent. You can be self-confident and make jokes of commentators.
Recently I’ve read The Idle Parent by Tom Hodgkinson – nice to know another point of view on being a parent and at the same time – a human being, man or woman.
Do you have any tips or reflections to help mothers who don’t feel that they’re good enough? Share in comments. Let’s exchange experiences.