Today we all repeat: don’t try to be perfect. But at the same time, most of us still try to do everything and to do it perfectly. And life teaches us that it’s impossible to be perfect.
I used to be a perfect mother, reacting to my son’s every (reasonable) need. Even if he needed to read him a book for the fourth time when I should finally brush my teeth. I never let him cry because of my lack of response.
I used to be a perfect mother, listening to my son’s every word. Even when he was speaking endlessly during the whole day, probably just training his speaking skills and checking or broadening his understanding of the world.
All the time repeating don’t try to be perfect, every day I did everything to have a one hundred percent clean and tidy home. Like from a magazine. I walked all day putting things in their places and doing even things my husband should do, telling myself I do it only one time, only at that day or that it’s the last time…
All those million little things to do accumulated in my day to leave me almost zero time and very little energy for what I need or want to do (or not do) for myself.But I thought I was doing what I should.
But I thought I was doing what I should.
And then one situation happened.
The life-changing moment
My older son wanted to go to the toilet. I had to help him and then wash him. At the same time, my younger son started crying. He wanted that I hold him, breastfeed him or help him to fall asleep.
But I knew that a child needing to go to the toilet, can’t wait. I knew that what I should do is care for the older one.
And so I did. My time, attention and my actions were for the older son, whose needs couldn’t be cared of later. I knew that I did what I should. It was a choice. A good choice.
It was setting a priority and neglecting what wasn’t the priority.
So the younger son kept crying on the floor. For food, for sleep or just for mummy’s hugs.
Not only once I’ve read or heard that a method of letting the child cry is very bad. After this situation with two needing boys (and one adult at home), I know that letting the child cry is not only the always bad parenting method. Sometimes it’s just… life. Imperfect.
And it is the same in all areas of our lives:
It’s impossible to be perfect
Don’t try to be perfect in everything.
Don’t try to be everything at one time: super fit, the best cook, and DIY master.
Don’t try to do it all.
It’s about prioritizing
Because there will always be something or someone that cries for your attention.
Give your attention to things and people that need you, but don’t forget to give it to yourself.
There will always be things to do. There will always be non-finished tasks. Do them if you want, but take also time and energy for yourself.