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Mass culture encourages us to work on our self-development. In eight hundred sixty spheres of our lives. At least. And what do we get for that? Dissatisfaction, deficiencies in happiness, joy, self-fulfillment and satisfaction. I beg you: choose less self-development!

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The hell of self-development.

Because if I decide to get up an hour earlier, it means that now I get up an hour late. I’m pretty bad.

If you set yourself a goal of writing three books, and finished only one of them, you’re behind in comparison with your desired state.

And what if we let it go? What if we don’t ask for anything else. Because this more of our personality, character, habits, professional situation, private relationships… – this more will come sooner or later. If we let go of the things we want and expect from ourselves, it could be possible to… be happy. Take care of daily affairs. Be fully present while doing our everyday activities. Or even better, be fully present in our everyday inactivity?

The studies (to which I unprofessionally don’t refer to) indicate that if we have satisfied basic needs (shelter, clothing, food), then the amount of money does not affect the level of our happiness. Isn’t that fantastic news?

And probably at least half of the people working on their self-development do it for the money. Coaching, achievement of set goals. Mastering your emotions – your body, habits, desires, weaknesses, colds, fatigue – for greater productivity. For better results. For money. How to be a leader, entrepreneurial, how to manage the company in seventy countries, success in three days. Shape yourself in for the god of productivity.

Read: I do not want to be productive

Many people today have a concentration camp in them. They manage themselves as their workers, whose human needs, desires, inclinations and weaknesses do not matter, must be erased. They have to be well organized by appropriate procedures; they have to be polite, obedient, and productive. The purpose of their existence is: doing.

Today, feeling the sleepiness taking over at noon (Air pressure? Lack of coffee? Fatigue caused by being a mother?) I thought to myself that winter is for sleeping. I thought just like that. That in winter we should sleep more. Recover ourselves just as bears, trees and earth. Cease to exist. Just like that for two more hours a day.

And tell me, how many people would agree to do it? And most of people from our cultural setting can afford that. It would be enough to throw away maybe two things, such as YouTube trainer, fitness, gym, Spanish courses, washing curtains, matching dresses, everyday makeup, tidying up jewelry, rewriting lists with things to do.

I know it can be difficult to turn down the message that lives even in our loved ones, the message saying, try to be the best in everything. And then husband tells me that our home needs vacuuming, and my mother is surprised that I don’t cook dinners. Doesn’t matter.

If I’m not hurting anybody, if I take care of myself and my family, I allow myself… to live.

You can also do as I do, get more sleep. This means crossing out of your list (not just for this one night but for the rest of your life) a task of tidying something up. This means not to invent yourself things like waking up at four o’clock because there is someone that did and then he became very successful.

You are allowed to live, don’t force yourself to work on your self-development, and everything that is meant for you will come whether you like it or not.

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less self-development - Slow and Happy blog about conscious life. Do not nurture a concentration camp in yourself. Don't let 'doing' be the purpose of your existence. Don't feed the god of productivity. Just allow yourself... to live.

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Ula Archer

Woman. Wife to one Husband. Working at home mother to two Boys, the Older and the Younger. Minimalist. Reader and self-developer. Simplifying my life to regain my space, time, energy and attention. Optimizing. To be happier, more productive, more smiling, more giving to my family. To have more time for walks in nature.